On This Day: Can you hear the wind in the trees whispering?
When you know your true path, you walk with less fear and with purpose. When you discover your calling in life, it changes your life. It changes you. It changes the world. Do you hear the wind whispering in your ear asking, “Do you know your Calling?”
In my twenties: A conversation about a funeral
“There were hundreds of people at my grandmother’s funeral,” he said.
The turnout surprised his family. Who were all these people?
The number of people at your funeral is typically in inverse proportion to your age. Die in your forties or earlier and the church pews will be full. Survive long enough to have a grown grandson and it’s likely that the majority of characters from your life story will have already celebrated their own funeral and crossed the river.
Intrigued that his grandmother proved the exception, I prompted him to tell me more. She worked, he began, at a counter at Rich’s, a beloved department store in Atlanta’s downtown.
Turned out she worked a different job all together.
In my thirties: A conversation with myself
We all sat down in the classroom and the presenter began to talk to the group about moving from success to significance. An interesting topic for a group of HBS grads and their guests. I glanced around the room; as a guest, I knew that most of the others in the room had earned far greater success than I, significantly greater. I went to the event looking forward to re-connecting with other people from back in the day. I ended up connecting with myself.
Scanning the event itinerary, I was sure I would enjoy the evening parties. I was not as sure about the classroom sessions provided for the attendees during the day. One session caught my eye. According to the agenda, the session would help you rediscover your career vision, a focus for the next phase of your life, aka your Calling. Even though I loved my life as a stay-at-home mom, I knew I should be considering where I would venture to after I exited Momsville. What would I do then? It would be smart to have a few ideas in mind, particularly ones that I could monetize.
“Do you know your calling?” the presenter challenged the group as he looked around the classroom. While a couple of heads nodded, most did not. “Actually, you do,” he said. “Your calling is in you. It has always been in you. You just need to direct your attention so you can see it.
“Close your eyes,’ he said, “Remove yourself from your brain’s running commentary and direct your attention on your knee.
“See? It worked.” he said. “You do have the ability to direct your mind. Now I want you to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and direct your mind to your inner eye. I will guide your inner eye to see your Calling.”
“The most important thing is that while I am guiding you, your ego my try to edit what you see. Your ego loves to take on the role of the limiting factor, the ‘No, Your Couldn’t Possibly,’ or the the ‘It Would Never Work’ role. Do not reject or change the vision. Trust what you see. Let’s begin and remember, do not edit.”
He spoke in a clear, soft voice, pausing here and there, like a guide taking us all along on a scenic trail and pausing to allow the group to take in the surroundings.
“You can see yourself. You are calm and confident. You can see what you are doing. It feels natural. You do not have fear.
“You are doing what you were born to do. It is tremendously fulfilling. Do not edit.
“You can see yourself. You are doing your life’s work. It is what you have had in you all along. You have been preparing your whole life.”
It went on like that and then it was over. But it wasn’t.
“Again,” he said, “But this time pick up your pen and write down your impressions, your vision. This will be for your eyes only. Write freely.”
I saw myself talking to a friend encouraging her to go for it; telling one person about the inner light I could see in her, telling another person he had a superpower and what it was. Scene after scene passed through my vison. One person was telling me that something I once said to him changed his life. And then another, telling me the same thing.
I had expected to envision myself starting a business or a non-profit, something important that aligned with a position of leadership or financial success. Instead, in my vision, I saw myself simply talking to person after person.
I felt surprised and disappointed. How was this vision a career or a Calling?
At the same time, I felt embarrassed by the vision. Who was I to ‘coach’ someone else; be someone’s personal Delphi? I began to cry. My tears hit the paper in front of me, causing giant blobs of smeared ink, turning much of the inked vison into salty nothing.
Back home after the reunion weekend, I could not forget the experience. Could it be true? I thought of the number of times people had randomly come up to me and told me that I said something to them they had never forgotten.
Setting aside my uneasiness, I tapped my personal sources of truth and light, my brother and sister. I managed to casually float the question to each of them separately. Do people ever come up to you and tell you that they have never forgotten something you said to them? No, they said, never happens. Why do you ask?
Now I had a problem. On one hand, it seemed I should return or exchange this ill-fitting Calling, maybe drop it off at Goodwill. At the same time, I had a hint that it was mine for keeps.
In my forties: Crickets
As the years went by, the subject of having a Calling would come up in a conversation and sometimes, in a fit of reckless courage, I would confess.
It never failed; whenever I tried to explain my Calling, my throat would close, my eyes would gather tears. I would feel overwhelmed and at the same time, silly. Silly to think I could possibly have this Calling.
Sitting at a conference dinner with the heads of companies from around the globe, the subject of having a Calling came up. Okay, I’m going for it, I say to myself, and I begin to share my Calling and the story behind it. Shaking, my voice cracking, I explain to the table my simple Calling how I want to semi-magically change a few lives. I share how strongly this vision moves me; how I cannot even think about it without opening up a deep well of emotions.
Blank stares met my words. Crickets. I heard not a single voice of encouragement or belief from these leaders. I would say they were underwhelmed, but I am not sure there was any whelm at all, more like un-whelmed.
That filled me again with shame and doubt. Maybe I was crazy. Maybe I had an inflated sense of ability to impact other people. Maybe I should let it go.
So much for my having a Calling.
In my fifties:
In the end, this vision, this Calling, had me. It insisted on walking beside me. If I could not walk away from it, then I would live it.
I would make it real for myself. I set a goal. I would positively impact 50 people before I died. At the top of a blank page of my journal, I wrote the word “List.’
My secret list would include people I thought I had a shot at encouraging, positively influencing. I penned in ten or so names to start. Going forward, I expanded the list whenever I could. Who could I casually encourage to take a leap? How could I quietly be the wind for someone who needed to fly high and then stand at the ready, in case they needed a spotter? When someone near me faltered or fell, could I reach a hand down?
Unlike most goals I set for myself, I would never know if I met this goal, or if I were even making progress. I would simply embody the intent. Like a tree trunk grows, lifting branches and leaves up to the sunlight, I would be a tree and look for humans to lift up like branches so they could better see their potential.
And as I wrote the names, as always when I thought about my Calling, I cried.
Sitting and talking with my boss one day, he asks about my goals.
“You may not understand, but I want to positively impact 50 people before I die. I don’t know how really. I just know I will try.”
“So this job is just a vehicle for you to do that,” he says.
“Yes,” I nod. “The thing is I will never know if I attain this goal of positively impacting fifty people or if I have ever positively impacted even one other person.
I just know that through this every-day quest, I have positively impacted one person every day. That person is me.”
In my sixties
In the kitchen, as we make dinner, I find myself rambling on, as I often do, to Grey HingePin.
Earlier that day I had randomly thought of that grandmother who worked for years at a department store counter in downtown Atlanta. I tell Grey about the grandmother’s funeral, and the grandson’s surprised reaction at learning that his grandmother’s life was so much richer than he knew. He thought she worked a counter at Rich’s only to learn her real work was encouraging co-workers through hard times, mentoring them, but mostly letting them know that she believed in them; helping one person believe he could get into school or another believe she could get back on her feet as a single parent.
Grey says, “It’s like all those people were branches and leaves on her tree.”
How many times has my Grey heard me say my dream is to be a tree lifting up other branches to the sunlight? I smile, loving how Grey made the connection between her positive impacts on other people and my hopes, my Calling.
As I take in his words, I look at Grey and the world stands still for a moment. “Grey,” I say, “I’m not a tree; I am a branch! She’s the Tree. And I am a branch on her tree.”
I understood then that she had reached across time and any and all barriers, and through her impact on her co-workers and her grandson, she had changed me. She had created in me the idea that an everyday person could positively impact other everyday people.
All along, she had been inspiring me.
As I write this I’m crying. This quest brings so much love and meaning to my life. Even more so, now that I know it was a gift from someone I simply heard about in a casual conversation. If she could have that reach, maybe my quiet efforts would have an impact some how, some way.
On This Day: A conversation at a funeral
Welcome to this gathering, this thank you to people I love so much, who may or may not be here. This day is about the gratitude I felt for the give and take between us.
On this day, it is about how we laughed when things were hard and how we held hands and cried when life was wonderful. Thank you.
On this day, I thank you for the opportunity to have known you and for the joy it brought me to have you on my List, for the beautiful impact that had on me.
On this day, now that I have crossed the river, I will be looking for her. To find my tree. To tell her that she positively impacted me, that I am a branch on her tree. And, maybe, possibly, there are more leaves that grow from this branch of her tree. Thank you, my Tree. Thank you.
On this day, can you hear the wind in the branches, whispering?
On this day, do you hear the wind whispering in your ear asking, ‘Do you know your Calling?’
Listen. Close your eyes. What do you see? Do not edit.
Did I get you interested? Here are more links
A Guide: How to find your Calling
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Orange Door Hinge 
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